Fighting Entropy

Thinking of a special kind of friend

I hear the reality of an old friend passing. A friend they are as few have ever connected as closely and unconditionally as they did. Remember how the Hobbes (From Calvin and Hobbes) greeting Calvin?

For over the last 12 years there has been a friend who greeted me in such a manor. An example of unconditional love. A love that knew a time and a place, a time to weep and a time to growl. Only once have I heard a more fierce growl with such a empathetic heart.

Why does a friend that costs little, is easily replaceable, and readily available mean so much? Why have we been given short lived but dear friends? How is it a dog, can bring me so much grief? I do know part of the reason, it's because he gave me so much joy. We both enjoyed pushing each others buttons. We both pushed his owners limits. Roughhousing to the edge of his patience, I know I was not the influence that my roommate wished I was on him.

Today the idea of ownership of another is purely derogatory, and by no means do I want to confound what I feel with other issues. But if I can love animals this much, why should it be strange for me to be loved and owned by God? I have loved animals, enough to be willing to make minor sacrifices for them. I am lower than a pot to a potter, and yet, I am loved so much that the lover has sacrificed both/and his only son and life for me. It's impossible to wrap my mind around. If a pet can demonstrate love why wouldn't I desire to love God at least as unconditionally as a pet has shows love to me?

I really wish I could to write a poem to express, but I cannot write the one I want yet. I wish I knew Columbo, I miss Charity. I miss Misty. I really miss the long legged, deer faced, empathetic, imposing on the outside, afraid on the inside, but always such elegant lady; Tessa.

It hurts now that the first friend I made after I moved to Greenville will never again greet me the same, and will leave us soon. Yes he's just a dog, my mind knows this. I will genuinely miss him, and that should teach me something.

Coming back

I do not believe that anyone will still read this. But it's a place where I used to post, and as I want to get back into writing again, Maybe I'll make this a new place to put down some thoughts.

Tonight I was able to join friends for Happy Hour, and as the turmoil of the election rolls on I was worried about the time with friends would be ruined by worrying on things beyond our control. However, I was blessed that both couples I was with had more important news in their lives. And these changes took precedent. I am remined that while the global events may have a much larger impact overall, there are things that happen every day to people that have a bigger impact on their particular lives.

This was one of the lessons that I was able to witness during the two weeks I spend in the DPRK. Even when surrounded by extreme oppression that is really going on, people are able to continue to live their own lives. Things happen that are important to the individual, that will take priority over global matters. There is a real distinction between the individual and the collective that is frequently lost. For the individual, love, accomplishment, fulfillment, and meeting daily necessities matter. And the smaller impact of global events matter a small amount to each person. It is only the multiplier of the number of people that makes these changes appear "more" important. Ultimately the example of death is a personal event that happens to individuals and those around them, the number of people who also may or may not have died around them does not change true impact of the loss of the individual, it changes the impact to the collective. The duality that we are both a collective and individuals seems to have been lost. If we only recognize one, we will loose the importance of the other.

It is one of the reasons for my depression, So much of my professional worth is based on it's value to the group, and enough value of my vocation has been placed on me as an individual. While in my personal life, I have too much value in terms of me as an individual, and insufficient value for us as a group.

I hope that I can find the time to work on poetry again soon. Tonight I do not believe it will happen but I really enjoyed the last time I wrote a poem. I am enjoying the typing on a new keyboard, maybe I can find inspiration there.

Keys:

My fingers move through motion that I learned as a child.
Falling words my moves reacted
Typing Tutor the game that proved
gamification buzzword long ago enacted
On computer old I learned to type
A 486 the CPU of much hype
But keys I type while the words are piled
Deep meaning not found but thoughts do flow
forced writing means maybe I will grow